What's Up With Women's Clothes?

I am currently wearing a pair of size 14 jeans. They fit perfectly. Last night, I was wearing a pair of size 18 jeans. They also fit perfectly. I have one pair of size 18s that literally fall off me (bummer, 'cause they were my favourite jeans...) and several pair of size 16s that are a little loose but not enough to cause me distress.

So what up with that???

Okay, I get vanity sizing. In case you don;t, that means that lots of companies have, um, rearranged the sizes of their lines so that you're actually buying a much bigger size than it says you are. For example, the last time I was the same weight as when I ordered those loose size 18s, I wore a size 22. So at the same actual size, I am now wearing a much smaller size number. Get that?

But what's with the 18/14 thing? That's two whole sizes difference and both pairs of jeans are from the same company. In fact, I bought these size 14s on a lark, not expecting to fit into them for some months yet! Yet here I am wearing them. They're my new favourites.

I don;t get women's clothes at all. Or how the size charts are actually supposed to help you. I mean, who has a size 44 boobs and a size 45 hips (I think that's the current measurements for a size 18 dress). I have a size 36 boobs now--all my expensive bras are way too big and that makes me angry because if this weight loss thing goes on much longer I'll have to replace them all! So I'm actually a size 12 on top, though I can make a 14 work since I like my clothes a bit loose. But what about those hips, huh? Mine are still a size 43, with a 32 inch waist which makes my lower half a size 16. I have three different sizes going on in one body here. Does anyone pick up on that? No. So if I buy a dress either the top is WAY too big or the hips are WAY too tight.

Who has this perfect figure we're talking about that all these sizes are based on? No One, that's who. Where do they find those perfect size 6 models? Dunno. Some women are just built like that, I guess, but not most of us.

And then there are the "Large Sizes" catalogs, which feature tents masquerading as dresses, most of them. Don;t get me started--oh look, I've already started. Some of these catalogs actually have fairly nice clothes at decent prices with okay quality. But it's like they don;t really expect large sized women to be active or want to do things like go camping or stuff like that so their jeans are usually flimsy and often their skirts and dresses are just the same. We're supposed to sit around at our desks typing blogs (ha ha) or doing secretarial work or, lord knows, even sit about the house watching soaps and eating bon bons so we can buy even more "plus-sized" clothing.

Oh well. I will never understand women's clothing. maybe the men do.