wasting some time

...before I have to go for my eyebrow wax....girly ting I know but I don;t feel ashamed like I did when I did girly things in High school and all my friends were like "Ewwww!" It's taken me so long time to appreciate girly things because of this.

so day four of the med change: about half an hour after I wrote my last blog I got slammed with a horrible weight of depression. It just fell from the sky. I think part of it was that I hadn;t eated in some time because food definitely helped, but also, what can I expect as I am now taking half the anti-depressants that I once was? I suppose a little depression is in order. Besides, it's so much better than the hypomania and restlessness and violent thoughts and all that goes with that lot.

Today I feel a littel depressed still but not so bad. The ache in my heart isn't as noticeable. And the ache in my atomach has about gone away. Hooray for that.

I'm still taking it easy on myself. I don't want to push too hard, you know: now you;re not restless and irritable so you must immediately start that novel you;ve been thinking of and practice your flute an hour a day etc. I want to just have time to feel these changed feelings.

Which reminds me that last night I dreamed I was back at Naropa trying to enroll for a dance class but they wouldn;t let me take it unless I took a meditation class first. Doesn't actually sound much like a dream to me! I can see them doing it.

Not that I have anything against meditation. It's a good practice and being able to let go of thoughts and just know they;re thoughts and not really happening has been a huge boon to my mental health. I jus have a problem with people who think it's so...the be all and end all of all enlightenment or something. Most people I've known with that attitude have been very lost in their lives and lookng for something to fill them up. It's sad, really. But everyone needs a weay to peace. Even me.

It;s a grey day today but not too cold. I'm actually dressed as I write this as my waxing appt. is not too far off.

Soemthing weird just happened: my browser shut down without any warning whatsoever. Fortunately this had been saved as a draft autonatically...thank you blogger. But I'm going to end now in case it happens again.

Happy Saturday, all.