Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Ever have one of those days...

Every have one of those days when you know right away that getting out of bed is a really bad idea? When you wanke up and just think, "Oh no, not again." Well, I'm having that day. I opened my eyes at 8 and thought, "No way am I getting up yet. This is just a really bad idea." I managed to sleep another hour and then I knew there was no help for it. I had to get up. Because you do, don;t you? I mean, there was that week a couple years ago when I just stayed in bed taking one sleeping pill after another until my husband called my therapist, but that's not the normal course of events. In the normal course of events you get up.

So I did get up even though I knew it was a bad idea. And immediately started having a bad anxiety attack--the kind where you;re convinced you;re going to die there all alone with no one even to hold your hand as you go. So I called my husband and he talked me through it, and I feel like a heel for needing this support but I just did.

I managed to get dressed in what I term my intermediate clothes: sweats that I wouldn't go out of the house in, but feel okay hanging about in, And if I do my PIlates, which I need to do but don;t really feel like doing, then I'm prepared.

The last two hours I have been smoking, cruising the internet and playing computer games. Wha-hoo!

Then there's the kids. Onyx had an "I can;t leave you alone but must be with you always meowing in your ear" moment that lasted about an hour. His nickname, Oni, means Demon in Japanese. He's beginning to show it. Elvira has been content staring out windows and Obi--Obsidian--has been asleep. But he just woke up and Oh My God, how can so much stinky poo come out of one small beast like that??? Reminds me why I'm not having children.

The other cats still aren;t tolerating things too well. GB remains outside all day and can only be lured in by the rattle of the treat jar, after the kids are put to bed for the night. Dacs refuses to come down from the pantry. I'm a little worried about her; she's eating but I haven't seen her take a drink since we brought the small creatures home. Luna is doing the best with it; she lets them get closer on a daily basis but still is stand-offish and hisses a lot when they get too near.

so I wish I could do something else now, like read, but that's a total loss because of the whole confcentratin issue and also because trying to read while minding three wild kittens is like...well, it reminds me when I worked with people with Autism, really.

Ever have one of those days? Oh right....that's my life.

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