Sunday, October 14, 2007

More blahs

like the young jaguar in the Kipling story, I just "don't feel comfy." It's another blah day and I ache all over, expecially in my legs. I think this has mostly to do with not getting a lot--or any--good exercise this week; I haven't even done my Pilates which I can usually do even when I can't do anything else. I'm bored and restless at the same time: not a good combination. I wish I could just sit down and read a book as I would usually do on a grey, gunky day like this, but I can't cencentrate.

These blogs are beginning to be really redundant: always saying the same thing over and over. I hate that. I wish I had something interesting to relate.

It's really fall here now. It seems like overnight the trees turned from green to gold and over another night the leaves have fallen so that many of them are almost naked. The garden is in its final death throes after hanging on valiantly against my neglect all summer. The birch tree outside my window is nearly bare. The chickadees have come back from wherever they summer and I hear their distinctive "chee-chee-chee" through the window I keep open for a little air in this stuffy office.

I'n drinking a lot more tea and a lot less water. I need to drink more water.

Everything seems sleepy and, well....asleep. Even the kittens are sacked out in various places and GB hadn't the energy to do more than meow at Onyx when he came to investigate this great big cat.

I wish I could sleep like that. I used to be able to just go to sleep when nothing else was going on, but lately I find I can't. It has to do with being restless like I am, I think. hard to stay still long enough to find my way into a nap.

I;m worried about my husband, who is playing Zuma instead of working on his paper for his Chaucer class. This semester in school is just really kicking his butt. And I know--believe me I know--how hard it is to feel so overwhelmed but I'm really afraid he;s going to let too much slide and end up having to repeat a semester or flunking out which we really can;t afford....

Speaking of which, we have NO money. That's just great too.

So I guess I have a lot of stresses in my life right now. You know what I hate is when you tell a therapist something like that and she says, "That's a lot of stress!" as if you didn't know and as if knowing you have stress in your life is all you need to feel better. Not that my therapist has ever really done that but my pdoc has. And I don;t like it at all.

Elvira has just come up to help me write this so I tink it's a good place to stop before she does something weird like deletes the whole post...

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