Not So Great

Today. Actually, pretty bad today. First of all, I didn;t get to sleep until 2 am and then I had to get up at way to friggin' early for me to go get blood drawn to see how the Depakote levels are in my system. Always pleasant, getting out of bed and getting poked in the arm on no breakfast. The cats are being terrors. I accidentally shut Elvira's paw in the t-shirt drawer when I was getting dressed. She let out a squeal that made me think I had killed her, but 20 seconds later she was running around like nothing had happened so I suppose I didn;t do any lasting damage. Still, upsetting. Then I tripped over a cat and started crying because it seemed like I couldn;t cope with this simple obstacle and like obstacles are everywhere. Then, AFTER confirming that I would indeed buy the $500 publishing package from my POD company to use for Locked at a later date, ny sales rep e-mailed me to "Consider the premium package!" Which just happpens to cost three THOUSAND dollars. I e-mailed her very nicely that I couldn;t afford that much, that I could afford $500 and that was what I was going to spend, thank you very much. I mean, I have to keep reminding myselff that these people are in the business to sell themselves, not to help authors. I don;t even know if I'm going to use the package I signed up for: My husband seems to think we couold get an agent to take Locked on. I don;t know, myself. I didn't write it--I;m not writing it--for art's sake, just for getting the words on the page and I have no intention of making it into art or going back and cleaning it up or editing it in any way. Anyway, it's not finished and I don;t know if it ever will be so what's the use. I did sit down and print out the whole MS that I have so far and it's about 130 pages so I suppose I'm about haklfway through it.

All in all, having a bugger of a day and I just want to go take a nap but I've been smoking like a fiend and I'm all riled up so I don;t know if I could even do that.

Now Onyx has decided to come help me write this so maybe this is a good place to sign off for now.