Friday, December 7, 2007

Still Depressive

And freaking out because I have no fire. That sounds like a pretty ancient fear, but I'm afraid mine has a terribly mundane source: no fire means I can't light my ciggies and I have desperate need of one right now. I found a whole bunch of allegedly "Stike anywhere" matches but I can;t get any of them to light. our stove is electric. My lighter has died. No fire is no smoke. Arrrrgghhhh. I have to wait until M. comes home in 2 hours before I can get this craving satisfied. I want to say "get my needs me," but I DO realise smoking isn;t really a need. It seems like one for me right now because I;m having a particularly bad day. But it's not a need.

Particularly bad day? Woke up very depressed and crying, cats getting on my nerves worse than usual, bad dreams, no money and no prospects, M. having rough time at school with 2 papers to write, including a really long one, in the next 2 days, and NO SMOKES = bad day.

BTW, Oni is home with us and well enough to be a total spazz once more. The vet says he had a "Bile blockage." I don;t know what that is but it sounds vile.

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