Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Rough Day

yesterday. It started with a visit to my psychiatrist, which always has my stomach in knots. But it went pretty well. He seems to be more comfortable with depression than he is with anxiety; at least when I told him I was no longer anxious but I was now depressed he seemed relieved: here was something he could do. I actually give him points for understanding that the feeling of nothingness is worse than the feeling of pain. We talked a little about that and I really couldn;t believe he got it, but he did. Good on you, doc. Then he prescribed me a new medication which is supposed to really help Bipolar Depression. It did NOT help me to hear this med can cause a reaction that is potentially fatal "in some extremely rare cases." I don;t care if the cases are extremely rare; I don't want to be one of them. Honestly, I'd almost rather not know about stuff like that, though I suppose I have to. But it makes me not want to take the meds at all.

well then when we got home it was to find one of our cats had started puking blood. Very scary. We rushed him to the vet where we spent 90 minutes standing around while she ran various tests trying to find out what was wrong and not being able to. We ended up having to leave him there overnight, poor kitty. I just callled the vet;s office and the assistant told me Oni is doing much better but she doesn;t know what the vet wants to do about him yet--the vet was out on a farm call--so we can;t bring him home. I'm suspecting he'll be there another night.

I am wearing his collar as a bracelet for good luck. It was awful when they were drawing his blood; I had never heard a cat make noises like that!!

We went out for Mexican food and I totally went off my WW program but it felt so good! Well, it tasted so good; I really didn;t feel so good after consuming more in one meal than I had in months, even at Thanksgiving! The funny thing is, after this orgy of consumption I weighed less today than I did yesterday. Only now I am having, shall we say, a volatile reaction to the beans. Oh well.

Watched Monty Python to end the day. I laughed some.

So I guess all in all it was not so Rough a day as it was a full one. And that's always a bit hard for me. I have to be something.

Did some Christmas shopping no the web today and now I have a total anxiety stomachache! I hate spending money when I know I don;t really have any.

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