It's her birthday today. That woman who used to be my best friend up until 5 years ago when her bad attitude and general toxicity about ruined my life and surely had a good deal to do with ruining my health.
Why can't I forget these things? Some people don't remember birthdays, I always do, even the birthdays of people I haven't seen in near on 30 years. I don't forget. And we were friends for so long, I doubt I'll ever forget.
Today I am remembering all the good times we had together. The good things about her. The times she was genuine with me and not a person stuck always behind a mask of others' expectations. The times she was honest, not reciting lines.
The truth is, I miss her still. I miss having a living, breathing girlfriend.
The sad thing is, I doubt she understands to this day what she did to me that made me break off the relationship. She has a pretty good life now, from what I hear and see. She has what she wants and though it's not whatI would want I'm glad for her. That's today. Tomorrow I may go back to referring to her as the bitch, but today she's just my lost friend, as lost as if she had died.
So happy birthday Elliot. Wherever you are in your mind I still remember you as a one time friend. and that's the thing that hurts the most.
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