A couple of weeks ago I was ordering fall clothes. (I get most of my clothes from a wonderful store called Newport News and you can find them on the web at www.newport-news.com. But beware, because since I discovered them I have become totally addicted!) I needed new clothes because since joining Weight watchers back in June I have lost nearly thirty pounds and everyting I own literally hangs off me like sacks.
So anyway, I decided to order some jeans. I ordered a size 14 not expecting them to fit yet; just wondering how far I had to go before hitting that size. Wellthey came today and THEY FIT! I was so excited I jumped up and down.
Now all you people out there who consider Britney Spears fat at size ten maY wonder that I greet size 14 with such joy. But it's been 20 years since I was that size. I'm begining to feel like I own my body againand that's such a relief I can't tell you. For years I'vebeen walking around in this tub of lard that I KNEW didn't belong to me. Now I feel that Ican actually reach my goal (another 40 lbs to go).
It's really hard being fat and i don't think a person who has never been fat can really understand it. You look in th e mirror and hate yourself. You think, "That's not me!" and that there's a thin person hiding in there that just can't get out. You don't understand how you got that way, really. It seems so easy when they tell you "eat less and exercise more," but believe me before WW I tried everything. And nothing worked. So you get more and more depressed. Especially when the perfect model is still shaped like a stick. You just KNOW everyone is seeing not you, but your size.
So Hooray for me!!