I'm bored

this is the worst feeling. I'm so bored. and it's not like there isn't anything to do here. I could play my flute or any of a variety of musical instruments. I could write on any one of a number of novels. I could--gasp--clean house or garden or do things like that. But nothing interests me.

I remember feeling this way as a kid: telling my mom I was bored and having her suggest all these things for me to do andmy saying, "I don't wanna do that."

I heaR this is is a sign of depression. I don't want it to be a sign of depression. I don't want to be depressed any more. Moreover, I don't want to have my meds messed with. I want to be normal for once in my life.

But the wrost thing is not being able to read. If you've followed my blogs you know that I have in the past read well over a hundred books a year. This year I doubt I've read twenty. Why? I can't concentrate. I read a word or a line or a chapter and I feel like I can't sit still for any more.

Books used to be my refuge and now that refuge is gone.

I stil hate this laptop and my back hurts so I'm going to quit this now. I can't even concentrate on what I'm writing.