Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Still Bored

Thank the gods this day is finally drawing to a close. I've spent most of it chain smoking, which I should not be doing at all, and drinking too much coffee, which I also should not be doing and clicking back and forth between the same four internet sites where nothing is happening, waiting for my computer to do some amusing trick. I'm cross and brain-dead, and I don't feel like doing anything, yet doing nothing has no appeal either. I want to go shopping in the worst way, and I have no money. I want a new phone. Someone needs to drop $50K on my head, please. I could really put it to good use. Like, paying off my debts and then taking M. on a romantic vacation somewhere nice. Even a trip to Boulder would be good. We could walk around and drink lattes and eat food. I mean, I eat food here, every day, but it's not the same.

How do I manifest a change in my life? Well, not so much in my life as in my financial situation. I pretty much like my life, but the money sucks big hairy moose wang. Why must I always be poor? Other people make money. I've never been any good at it. It's all I can do to hold down a miserable, minimum wage job, the kind where at the end of the day you think you'd really rather starve to death than do THAT again.

I need to sell a book. I'm terrible at selling myself. I just don't seem to get the right hook. I can't attract the right attention. Is that because I'm uncomfortable with attention, due to my FOO? Quite possibly.

I wonder where Caitlin and Timber went? They were living in my head for months and now I can't find them at all.


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